Divorce ~ After the Holidays

Divorce isn't easy. It never is. Two people come together believing they'll spend their lives together, but then for a thousand reasons the marriage may not work. Some reasons people split are basic other reasons are complex. However, the fact remains that people marry and people break up. Every relationship runs its course … some are brief, some last for a life time.

If you are at the beginning stages of divorce or a paternity action. Or if you are contemplating a break up, you likely have many questions about the process. You also may have questions about your rights and responsibilities. The cost of an attorney may be prohibitive. Or you may want to educate yourself before hiring an attorney.

We have developed a course that may help answer some of these questions. “We” is the FloridaAssociation of Legal Document Preparers, a statewide trade association of nonlawyer forms preparers. As the name of our association clearly implies, we are NOT attorneys. Our course is the Divorce and Paternity Readiness Course. There are two parts. The first part addresses the emotional aspects of a divorce or break up. How are you going to feel after you're no longer half of a couple? How are you going to plan your life minus your spouse or significant other?

The second part of the course breaks down the basics. You have a million questions. Document preparers are asked these questions all the time. Some we can answer, others we can't. Document preparers are specifically prohibited from giving legal advice, so we can't answer any legal questions. Some questions we hear frequently are:

• How does the judge decide child support?
• How does the judge decide child timesharing and custody?
• Should I ask for alimony?
• What is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), and do I need one?
• What is shared parental responsibility?
• Do I get the house?
• Do I get to keep my car?
• Will he or she have to pay off credit card debt?
• Do I need a Marital Settlement Agreement?
• What's the difference between equal distribution of assets and debts; and equitable distribution of assets and debts?
• What if he or she was hiding assets during the marriage?
• What if he or she is engaged in illegal activities or substance abuse?
• What if there is domestic violence within the marriage?

And for the unwed fathers contemplating a break up, there are more questions:

• Why won't my child's mother let me see my child?
• I'm on the birth certificate, doesn't that make me the legal father?
• Why do I have to pay child support, when I can't even see my child?

Many of these questions are legal questions that a document preparer may not answer. But, our course can and does. Part II of our Divorce and Paternity Readiness Course provides the facts and information, you apply these to your circumstances. After completing our course, you'll:

Be able to make informed decisions about your divorce and break up;

Understand your rights and responsibilities;

Decide whether to prepare your own divorce or paternity documents, hire a legal document preparer, or retain counsel.

The cost for our course is only $59 for Part I; and $59 for Part II. For a limited time, Part II is free to all who complete Part I. So, if you're contemplating divorce or paternity action, or are at the beginning stages of either process, do yourself a favor and learn all you can. Your knowledge and active participation in the process will help make the transition from being a couple to being a single person much smoother.

January is the MOST popular month for divorce.

According to history.com, in 1643, the first record of a legal divorce in the American colonies, Anne Clarke of the Massachusetts Bay Colony was granted a divorce from her absent and adulterous husband, Denis Clarke, by the Quarter Court of Boston, Massachusetts. In a signed and sealed affidavit, Denis Clarke admitted to abandoning his wife, with whom he had two children, for another woman, with whom he had another two children. He also stated his refusal to return to his original wife, thus giving the Puritan court no option but to punish Clarke and grant a divorce to his wife, Anne.

The tradition continues ... family law document preparers know that inquiries and requests for divorce assistance spike during January -- even to this day, nearly 400 years after the first recorded divorce. The reasons consumers most frequently give for their choice of month, is that they did not want to upset the children, the in-laws, or life in general over the holidays. They wait, sometimes biting their tongues and holding their breath until Christmas is long gone and the New Year's party is well over before making the move to file for divorce. The decision to file for divorce may have been made months earlier.

Filing for divorce is a stressful time for all involved. There are almost always emotional issues, financial issues, and property issues to be sorted our and worked through. Here are some do's and don't's from someone who has been through it personally a time or two; and prepared documents for hundreds of divorces.

Do:

• Try to settle as many issues amicably as you possibly can.
• Tell the children of the pending divorce in a reasonable and loving way, assuring them that you will always be a family -- its just that Mom and Dad will no longer be married.
• Cherish the memories. Even if the love has died, remember that you loved this person once.
• Take care of yourself by making sure your support system is intact - whether it is your friends, a formal support group, a counselor, or divorce coach.
• If there are children of the marriage, be especially aware that the children are experiencing as much or more upheaval than you are due to the pending divorce.
• Resist the temptation to involve yourself in a new relationship too soon.

Don't:

• Allow yourself to be pulled into needless emotional turmoil.
• Let your guard down completely. Even though you want it to be amicable, that doesn't mean that you need to be careless.
• Manipulate the children to hurt your soon to be ex.
• Hide money. Be truthful about your finances, and expect the same from your spouse.
• Say unkind things about your ex in front of the children, other family, or friends.
• Don't dwell on blaming your spouse, the blame game doesn't help anything.

Document preparers may not provide legal advice or representation. Obvious as it sounds -- document preparers prepare documents. We can also give legal information and explain procedure. Most family law document preparers are also good listeners and don't mind hearing their customer's stories. .

Sometimes consumers ask whether they need an attorney. 

There is more than one answer.

1. If both parties are in complete agreement and understand exactly what they're agreeing on, then there may be no need for an attorney.
2. If someone thinks they need an attorney, then they probably do. If the customer is afraid of going to court without an attorney; they expect nothing but a fight; feels bullied by their spouse; their spouse has an attorney; or if English is their second language are all good reasons to retain an attorney.
3. A pro se litigant can always retain an attorney if the proceedings become contentious. Family law attorneys are specifically allowed to unbundle their services, they are not required to take on the entire case. Document preparers charge on average between $200-$400 to prepare divorce documents, usually as a flat fee. Attorneys hourly rates may well be $300-$500 per hour.

The Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers has member document preparers throughout the state, many of whom prepare divorce documents. To locate a document preparer in your area for assistance, look through our member directory or call 800-515-0496. We're here to help.

It's the Law - CoParenting Course

Divorcing parents are required to take a CoParenting Course, formally called the Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course. The Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers now offers the CoParenting Course online through the site - www.faldp.org. Online 24/7, for only $39.00. DCF approved - no additional charge for certificate of completion.

  

FloridaCoparenting.com is a DCF-approved provider of an online Parent Education and Family Stabilization course that fulfills State requirements. We know how stressful and complicated divorce can be, which is why we’ve made this part of the process as streamlined as possible. Learn vital information to improve your transition into co-parenting without the added stress of attending a Florida parenting class in person.
Register in minutes and start the course right away. You can complete the course at your own pace and when you’re done, instantly print out your official certificate at no extra cost. In addition, a money back guarantee and 24/7 customer support staff ensures your experience is risk-free and simple. Simply click here to get started!

 

61.21  Parenting course authorized; fees; required attendance authorized; contempt.--

(1)  LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS; PURPOSE.--It is the finding of the Legislature that:

(a)  A large number of children experience the separation or divorce of their parents each year. Parental conflict related to divorce is a societal concern because children suffer potential short-term and long-term detrimental economic, emotional, and educational effects during this difficult period of family transition. This is particularly true when parents engage in lengthy legal conflict.

(b)  Parents are more likely to consider the best interests of their children when determining parental arrangements if courts provide families with information regarding the process by which courts make decisions on issues affecting their children and suggestions as to how parents may ease the coming adjustments in family structure for their children.

(c)  It has been found to be beneficial to parents who are separating or divorcing to have available an educational program that will provide general information regarding:

1.  The issues and legal procedures for resolving time-sharing and child support disputes.

2.  The emotional experiences and problems of divorcing adults.

3.  The family problems and the emotional concerns and needs of the children.

4.  The availability of community services and resources.

(d)  Parents who are separating or divorcing are more likely to receive maximum benefit from a program if they attend such program at the earliest stages of their dispute, before extensive litigation occurs and adversarial positions are assumed or intensified.

(2)  The Department of Children and Family Services shall approve a parenting course which shall be a course of a minimum of 4 hours designed to educate, train, and assist divorcing parents in regard to the consequences of divorce on parents and children.

(a)  The parenting course referred to in this section shall be named the Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course and may include, but need not be limited to, the following topics as they relate to court actions between parents involving custody, care, time-sharing, and support of a child or children:

1.  Legal aspects of deciding child-related issues between parents.

2.  Emotional aspects of separation and divorce on adults.

3.  Emotional aspects of separation and divorce on children.

4.  Family relationships and family dynamics.

5.  Financial responsibilities to a child or children.

6.  Issues regarding spousal or child abuse and neglect.

7.  Skill-based relationship education that may be generalized to parenting, workplace, school, neighborhood, and civic relationships.

(b)  Information regarding spousal and child abuse and neglect shall be included in every parent education and family stabilization course. A list of local agencies that provide assistance with such issues shall also be provided.

(c)  The parent education and family stabilization course shall be educational in nature and shall not be designed to provide individual mental health therapy for parents or children, or individual legal advice to parents or children.

(d)  Course providers shall not solicit participants from the sessions they conduct to become private clients or patients.

(e)  Course providers shall not give individual legal advice or mental health therapy.

(3)  Each course provider offering a parenting course pursuant to this section must be approved by the Department of Children and Family Services.

(a)  The Department of Children and Family Services shall provide each judicial circuit with a list of approved course providers and sites at which the parent education and family stabilization course may be completed. Each judicial circuit must make information regarding all course providers approved for their circuit available to all parents.

(b)  The Department of Children and Family Services shall include on the list of approved course providers and sites for each circuit at least one site in that circuit where the parent education and family stabilization course may be completed on a sliding fee scale, if available.

(c)  The Department of Children and Family Services shall include on the list of approved course providers, without limitation as to the area of the state for which the course is approved, a minimum of one statewide approved course to be provided through the Internet and one statewide approved course to be provided through correspondence. The purpose of the Internet and correspondence courses is to ensure that the parent education and stabilization course is available in the home county of each state resident and to those out-of-state persons subject to this section.

(d)  The Department of Children and Family Services may remove a provider who violates this section, or its implementing rules, from the list of approved court providers.

(e)  The Department of Children and Family Services shall adopt rules to administer subsection (2) and this subsection.

(4)  All parties to a dissolution of marriage proceeding with minor children or a paternity action that involves issues of parental responsibility shall be required to complete the Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course prior to the entry by the court of a final judgment. The court may excuse a party from attending the parenting course, or from completing the course within the required time, for good cause.

(5)  All parties required to complete a parenting course under this section shall begin the course as expeditiously as possible. For dissolution of marriage actions, unless excused by the court pursuant to subsection (4), the petitioner must complete the course within 45 days after the filing of the petition, and all other parties must complete the course within 45 days after service of the petition. For paternity actions, unless excused by the court pursuant to subsection (4), the petitioner must complete the course within 45 days after filing the petition, and any other party must complete the course within 45 days after an acknowledgment of paternity by that party, an adjudication of paternity of that party, or an order granting time-sharing to or support from that party. Each party to a dissolution or paternity action shall file proof of compliance with this subsection with the court prior to the entry of the final judgment.

(6)  All parties to a modification of a final judgment involving a parenting plan or a time-sharing schedule may be required to complete a court-approved parenting course prior to the entry of an order modifying the final judgment.

(7)  A reasonable fee may be charged to each parent attending the course.

(8)  Information obtained or statements made by the parties at any educational session required under this statute shall not be considered in the adjudication of a pending or subsequent action, nor shall any report resulting from such educational session become part of the record of the case unless the parties have stipulated in writing to the contrary.

(9)  The court may hold any parent who fails to attend a required parenting course in contempt, or that parent may be denied shared parental responsibility or time-sharing or otherwise sanctioned as the court deems appropriate.

(10)  Nothing in this section shall be construed to require the parties to a dissolution of marriage to attend a court-approved parenting course together.

(11)  The court may, without motion of either party, prohibit the parenting course from being taken together, if there is a history of domestic violence between the parties.

"...no exalted villains above the control of our laws ..."

The Wisdom of Native Americans

Vs. American Law

“In the government you call civilized, the happiness of the people is constantly sacrificed to the splendor of empire. Hence the origin of your codes of criminal and civil laws; hence your dungeons and prisons. We have no prisons; we have no pompous parade of courts; we have no written laws; and yet judges are as highly revered among us as they are among you, and their decisions are as much regarded. We have among us no exalted villains above the control of our laws. Daring wickedness is here never allowed to triumph over helpless innocence. The estates of widows and orphans are never devoured by enterprising swindlers. We have no robbery under the pretext of law.”

• Joseph Brant (Thayendanegea) Mohawk
  

Upon reading the above quote I was struck by its simple truth. This quote is oh so relevant today. Even in our challenged economy, we have a legal system that is heavily weighted in favor of those who can afford attorney's fees.

The next to the last line -- “The estates of widows and orphans are never devoured by enterprising swindlers.” -- decries usual events in America. My mother’s lawyer charged her estate $8,000.00 to probate one asset -- her homestead, valued at just $125,000.00. No court hearing was required. The Petition for Summary Administration was filed at the same time as the proposed Final Judgment of Summary Administration. The probate forms were typed in one sitting and filed with the clerk’s office in one filing. My mother’s estate paid her lawyer $8,000.00 for typing. There was no will contest, no family controversy. Our “civilized” legal system allows lawyers to exorbitantly bill legal consumers.

I am readily reminded of the cost of divorce when reading the last sentence of Chief Brant’s quote, -- “We have no robbery under the pretext of law.” If divorcing parties can agree, becoming divorced is, once again, a typing task and one brief hearing before the Judge -- simple. But all too often divorce does not happen “simply”, When one party retains an attorney; the other party must follow suit for simple self-preservation. Each party retains an attorney, with retainer fees starting at $2,000 each and quickly escalating from there. If the parties agree; and sign a Marital Settlement Agreement, then the final hearing occurs. However, most often, once attorneys are involved, the parties’ “agreeing” does not happen quickly or simply. Once the parties agree, the attorneys’ billable hours must cease. No disagreements = no billable hours.

Achieving court access can be affordable. As more litigants represent themselves and take charge of their own legal matters, the challenge of court access for lack of money will eventually resolve itself. Citizens are increasingly, by choice or economics, representing themselves and realizing the self-empowerment of taking charge of their own legal matters. 

Guest Post by Julie Jefferson of Freedom Rings 

Are we there yet?

The U.S. economy is slowly recovering from years of no growth and slow growth. Unemployment is still not anywhere its ideal 3% rate, but at 8.1% as of November 2012 is an improvement over the year before. In November 2011 the unemployment rate in Florida was 10.2% – so quite a difference. Not to say we're totally in the clear. Just somewhat better.

One thing to consider is which types of businesses and industries do well in a poor economy. For example, our industry, legal document preparation does well in general during a poor economy. People who cannot afford attorneys turn to us to help them do it themselves. Even those that can afford attorneys, choose DIY over paying an attorney if they feel that there legal matter is routine, or something that is not going to be contested.

Within our legal document preparation industry, there are certain types of projects that are most popular during a poor economy. Bankruptcies, obviously. As people are trying to recover from their personal economic challenges, bankruptcy is, for some, the best alternative. Bankruptcy petition preparers have long been recognized under federal law as actors in consumer bankruptcy document preparation. Bankruptcy petition preparers typically charge around 10% of an attorney charge for bankruptcy petition preparation. Credit repair is another popular niche, also for obvious reasons. Many people who had always been able to maintain good credit ratings in the past were unable to sustain those high scores during the economic down turn. Debt defense, mortgage modification, foreclosure defense, are also common legal tasks that people may do themselves or seek out document preparers to help them format their paperwork and follow procedure.

Divorces in general likely increase during a poor economy. And as people cannot afford divorce attorneys, they increasingly turn to document preparers for help. In Sarasota County, at least one of the parties in most divorces was pro se. An article published in the Herald Tribune on September 9, 2012 states: “There is no question, though, that pro-se divorces are the new normal. For the past five years, 55 percent of divorce cases in Manatee and Sarasota counties have included at least one spouse who is pro se”.

Other industries that are counter cyclical include:

• Home Health Industries
• Employment Services
• Business Support Services
• Investigation and Security Services
• Services to Buildings and Dwellings
• Management, scientific, and technical consulting services
• Gas stations
• Computer systems design and related services

Each of the above industries realized greater than a 10% average increase in sales over the past twelve months. The DIY industries in general have improved while the service industries have faltered or failed. Traditional types of services such as hair and nail salons, restaurants, pet care services, house cleaners and landscapers have fallen dramatically over the past year as more and more consumers are stretching their dollars and doing more with less.

According to the New York Times – and relying on data from www.sageworks.com