How do you measure your life?

“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count, and everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.” 

Albert Einstein.

I've been reading the happiness studies. The AARP has one, and so does Harvard. AARP's study says that middle age is the least happy time in your life – happiness is a U-shaped curve which bottoms out during middle age. I suppose the upside is that there is an upside and happiness increases as we age. Good to know. The Harvard study contends that happiness and money are correlated, and that we need around a $75,000. annual income to be happy. I can understand that there is some sort of financial benchmark that can help measure happiness. I believe, however, that it is not so cut and dried. After all, one person is flush with a 75k income, and another is broke. All relative.


Carl Jung said that the more we pursue happiness, the less likely we are to find it. I don't agree with that statement. I think that if you don't pursue a goal, you're unlikely to reach it. So, in my opinion, we're best off, actively pursuing happiness. I agree, though, with Jung's short list of happiness factors:

1. Good physical and mental health.
2. Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life.

All of these ring true to me, except for being a bit too general. If our physical and mental health decline as we age, how is it that we are generally happier as we age? The only mention of economic factors relating to happiness is - “Reasonable standards of living”. I think that statement is more true than trying to pin down an actual amount. Income and standard of living are both relative to a community; and subjective as to whether the income and comparison are personally satisfying.

Here are some of my happiness factors:

Freedom from want – picture the Norman Rockwell painting inspired by FDR's speech.
The privilege of being self-directed – I am my own favorite boss.
The opportunity to make a positive contribution to someone's life – the rewards surprise me.
Spending quality time with friends and family – thank you.
Sharing my gratitude – thanks again.

Having outlets for self-expression and creativity – I write, create websites, and in business - make something from nothing -thoughts are things.

Dr. Clayton Christensen, a professor at Harvard Business School recently co-wrote, “How Will You Measure Your Life?”, a book which applies business management theory to our personal lives. The take away value appears to be (and no I haven't read it yet … I'll follow up if anything changes) – first of all, don't measure your happiness by your paycheck. That's what I'm saying too. That's a fool's game – he who dies with the most toys wins – but you're dead so who cares if you have the most toys! To a point, I'm a throwback to the sixties when it was commonplace and perfectly acceptable to measure your life by your intrinsic factors – your inner goals, and spiritual motivations.

According to “Why Seeking More Money Hurts Happiness” an excerpt from the U.S. News Ebook - “How to Live to 100” - “People pursue life goals that reflect different mixes of what social scientists call intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. "The intrinsic factors are about personal growth and self-knowledge, connections and social intimacy with other people, and wanting to help the human community for altruistic reasons," says Kennon Sheldon, professor of psychology at the University of Missouri. Extrinsic goals, he says, are about 'money, luxury, appearance, attractiveness, status, popularity, looks, and power.'"

From all of these theories, I have gleaned some important ideas. One is that relationships matter. We're not happy isolating ourselves from others, or letting our key relationships go untended. We also need a plan to achieve happiness. We know that we need a certain standard of living to be happy. How are we going to get there. And what about satisfactory work?

I'm lucky in the work that I do. It is a calling. I find the creative aspects of building and running my business endlessly intriguing. The personal reward in helping others is extraordinary. I would never have believed this in myself. I'm not a world saver. I am ever grateful that I fell into this business due to a horrible marriage that literally nearly killed me (not my son's dad). When I returned to school after that fiasco, my intention was to attend law school after completing a B.A in Legal Studies. Family circumstances prohibited me from moving; and there is no law school in Daytona. I am now ever grateful that I did not attend law school. I was lucky to fall into this occupation. How do you measure your happiness? Comments welcome.

Vision or Mirage?

The following is displayed on the Florida Supreme Court's website:

Mission of the Florida Judicial Branch

The mission of the judicial branch is to protect rights and liberties, uphold and interpret the law, and provide for the peaceful resolution of disputes.

Vision of the Florida Judicial Branch

Justice in Florida will be accessible, fair, effective, responsive, and accountable. To be accessible, the Florida justice system will be convenient, understandable, timely, and affordable to everyone.

To be fair, it will respect the dignity of every person, regardless of race, class, gender or other characteristic, apply the law appropriately to the circumstances of individual cases, and include judges and court staff that reflect the community's diversity.

To be effective, it will uphold the law and apply rules and procedures consistently and in a timely manner, resolve cases with finality, and provide enforceable decisions.

To be responsive, it will anticipate and respond to the needs of all members of society, and provide a variety of dispute resolution methods.

To be accountable, the Florida justice system will use public resources efficiently, and in a way that the public can understand.

Do you believe that Florida's judicial branch makes a continuing and diligent effort to realize the vision? I have my opinion. I want to hear yours. Please comment.

Florida Permanent Alimony – Permanent. – Really?

I'm not the first to be outraged, and not likely to be the last. The courts continue to award permanent alimony, almost always in favor of the former wife. Theoretically, a former husband could be awarded alimony, but I am having a hard time locating any of those cases. Until recently, I was under the impression that alimony was an archaic system that was rarely used in our enlightened modern times. It turns out that it is an archaic system, still alive and well in 2012 Florida. In fact, it amazes me that women would even want permanent alimony, after fighting so hard for equality.

The good news is that women are no longer considered chattel. Chattel, derived from old French, for (you guessed it!) – cattle. Chattel means property. In colonial times, women had few rights of their own. Their rights varied from state to state, with some of the New England states the most progressive. Up until women won the right to vote, many of the following laws remained in full force and effect:

Women were denied a separate legal status from their husbands.

A husband and wife were considered one person under the law and that one person was the husband.

Women were denied rights of inheritance.

Women were denied the right to own property in their own right.

Men could be compensated for the loss of a wife due to another man's negligence.

Men paid a bride price to the parents of his wife in the same way he purchased livestock.

Even after women won the right to vote, it still took some time to get past some of the customs and mind-sets surrounding women, and women owning property. Thankfully and formally, the doctrine of necessaries, and coverture have long been laid to rest. The doctrine of necessaries held that husbands were responsible for their wife's debts. The idea that a husband was responsible to third parties for the debts of his wife, was abolished in many states, including Florida, based on equal protection grounds. Some states have made both parties in a marriage responsible for the debts of the other spouse and so there is no burden on the husband – the rule is gender neutral.

Coverture was at common law the idea that a woman's identity was merged with her husband. She could not own property; enter into contracts; or establish her own credit. Coverture created the need for the doctrine of necessaries because a married woman was dependent upon her husband for maintenance and support. These systems sound so very ancient to us now. But they are not as ancient as you might think and the vestiges remain. Florida Constitution Article 10, Section V - states:

“There shall be no distinction between married women and married men in the holding, control, disposition, or encumbering of their property, both real and personal; except that dower or curtesy may be established and regulated by law.”

The Florida legislature abolished dower and curtesy with – Florida Statute – 732.111 —Dower and curtesy are abolished.

The terms Dower and Curtesy refer to provisions under the English common law and early American statutes granting widows and widowers special inheritance rights in the separate property owned by their deceased spouses. In addition, married women suffered severe burdens and limitations in dealing with their separate property. The significance of these doctrines at present is only part of the historical background of marital property rights.

Florida Statutes Sections 732.201-215, provide the surviving spouse of a person dying domiciled in Florida on or after October 1, 1973, with the right to a share of the decedent's estate, equal to 30% of the net fair market value on the date of death of all Florida Real Property which is subject to administration. Such right is known as the "Elective Share", and replaces all former spousal claims in the nature of dower and curtesy.

Curtesy - An estate to which a man is entitled by common-law right on the death of his wife, in all the lands that his wife owned at any time during their marriage, provided a child is born of the marriage who could inherit the land.

Alimony, particularly permanent alimony is a throw back to old customs. Admittedly, traditions die hard. Despite great strides, women have not yet achieved economic equality to men. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) –

“In 2010, women who were full time wage and salary workers had median weekly earnings of $669. Women earned 81% of the weekly earnings of their male counterparts - $824. In 1979, the first year for which comparable earnings data are available, women earned 62% of what men earned. The women-to-men's earnings ratio has been in the 80-81% range since 2004.”

I can see certain situations where alimony is appropriate. If either the husband or the wife stayed home for years raising children, and needs time to re-enter the job market – fair enough. Temporary, or rehabilitative alimony are available for these situations. I can even imagine certain situations when permanent alimony is appropriate. If one of the parties stayed home their entire married life to raise children; or if that party not only stayed home to raise children, but is also disabled; or did not stay home the entire time, but only half of the marriage, but spent the working time putting the other party through school and paying all the bills, then ok.

But when you hear the stories of the men in nursing homes having their social security checks garnished for alimony – come on. I have to wonder what became of that former wife's self respect, not to mention her humanity, that she would accept those alimony payments. And I also have to wonder how collecting permanent alimony can help a woman ever achieve economic equality. Fair is fair.

Legal accessibility - Guest Blog by Sharon Hoffmeyer

I always knew there was a problem with people being able to access the legal system without assistance of an Atty.  However it was not until it happened to me that I realized the extent of the problem.  The shocking part for me was that I have legal training.  I learned from my ordeal that I have more knowledge than some clerks at the courthouse.  I live in Jacksonville Florida the site of a new three hundred fifty million dollar courthouse.  This courthouse underwent its own trials and tribulations from being over budget and plagued with design problems.  For $350,000,000 we have a courthouse that is not 100% compliant with the Americans Disability Act and whose opening was delayed because the building could not pass fire inspection.

After filing my divorce petition on July 26, 2012, I realized that the problems are deeper and affect a far greater number of people than those touched by design or by ADA non compliance.  If you are the person that does not have the money to hire an Atty.  then you are, in essence, locked out of the courthouse.  When I filed my paperwork it was complete and correct.  Included in the paperwork I filed an Emergency Motion for Temporary Needs.  This means that I was asking the court to give me a hearing as soon as possible to establish child support and other needs so that I can continue to support my children.  After going through the proper procedure of serving the paperwork I called the courthouse to ask for a hearing date.  I left countless messages for my case manager which went unanswered and unreturned.  After two weeks of frustration, I decided to call until I received a response.  When I finally got a return call  I was met with resistance and immediately asked, “Are you an attorney?” to which I replied, no do have to be?  I informed the clerk that I was a pro-se litigant and wanted to set it for a hearing.  I knew to do this because of my experience working in several law offices.  The response, “you can’t do that.” My mind felt like it was about to explode and I quickly responded with “what do you mean I can’t do that?” the clerk informed me that because I represented myself they had to send a note up to the judge to ask what they wanted to do.  To me it was another delay in a process that had already taken far too long.

I quickly grew into a new understanding.  It was quite shocking to realize that regular citizens do not have the same access to the legal system as their attorney represented counterparts.  I thought to myself if this is happening to me, how many other people are facing the same challenges?  I decided to write the chief judge and let him know of the challenges I have been facing.  It turns out that he forwarded my E - mail to another judge who instructed the family law intake staff to set it for hearing.  Procedure at this point would state that they would call me and conference in my husband’s attorney and confirm a date with us.  However, because I was not represented they never called me.  They called my husband’s, counter attorney and gave him a date.  How did I find out?  My soon to be ex husband told my daughter that we had a hearing date.  I had completely been left out of the process.  It was my motion.  I should have been notified first.  I would have settled for being included in the process.  The day after finding out that a hearing had been set I received a call from the court eager to inform me that I had a hearing set.  As they started to fumble over their words, I stopped them.  I said let’s cut to the chase.  You are calling to tell me that I have a hearing.  They were surprised that I knew.  They asked how I knew.  I told them how I found out and that I was not pleased with the process.  I asked them why I was not called.  They admitted that they made a mistake and should have called me but someone dropped the ball.

I cannot help but wonder about the average person.  This process was difficult for me and I have knowledge to assist me.  Not everyone has my knowledge -- they have to rely on the courts and their staff to help them.  I’ve the impression that they don’t want to help.  Their only words are “you need an attorney.” As the saga continues, I have still not gotten my hearing.  The other side objected to the use of the magistrate.  The case was referred back up to the circuit court judge.

I called September 12th 2012 and was told once again that I cannot set it for hearing through the judicial assistant. I laughed at their ignorant, comment and called anyway. The judicial assistant was less than helpful. She told me that because the other side objected, they had to be the ones to call set it for hearing. I knew this was incorrect because it was my motion. I argued and argued. Then I realized there was no point in talking to people that do not have the ability to give me a yes answer. I told her I was going to e-mail the chief judge. Literally 5 minutes went by when she called me to tell me that she made a mistake and I could indeed set it for hearing. You would think I would be happy but I’m not. The hearing is scheduled for December. It’s an emergency hearing and I have a December date. Not sure how this is considered an emergency. When I asked why so late I was told that the judge did not instruct her to set it as an emergency. I replied, can we ask her? So she stated, no I cannot advocate on your behalf. Advocate? Really? She said, you’ll need to file the appropriate paperwork. Isn’t that what an emergency motion is? I took the date and I am going to get it changed. Will update when I know more.

Pro Se Survey Measures Access to the Legal System

The Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers stands for access to the legal system -- and stands up for pro se litigants. Meaningful legal access is fundamental to maintaining a free society.

JUST RELEASED -

PRLog (Press Release) - Sep 11, 2012 -
The Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers (FALDP) is conducting a series of surveys focusing on citizen access to the legal system. The first survey is targeted directly to citizens - pro se litigants - to quantify their efforts, barriers, and successes in pursuing their legal tasks on their own. The first survey in our series is on the Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers site at - Pro Se Survey.

The Florida Association of Legal Document preparers, founded in 2010 is dedicated to assisting Florida pro se litigants access their legal system. The association is primarily a trade group, that provides a center for training, networking, and support for Florida's *legal document preparers. In Florida, the title "legal document preparer" is used by nonlawyer practitioners who assist consumers in completing forms for filing in Florida courts.

FALDP offers members the opportunity for education and networking through its Annual Conference, coming up on September 22 & 23; ongoing webinars, and online courses. Members advertise on the association site, and receive referrals from consumers. Members are required to meet or exceed academic standards and required years of experience experience in order to join.

The following quote from Judge Mayfield's dissenting opinion in 1996 continues to apply:

"Lest the citizenry lose faith in the substance of the system and the procedures we use to administer it, we can ill afford to confront them with a government dominated by forms and mysterious rituals and then tell them they lose because they did not know how to play the game or should not have taken us at our word."

Moore v. Price, 914 S.W.2d 318, 323 (Ark. 1996),Mayfield, J., dissenting

*Members use the title "legal document preparer, because the Florida Bar prohibits legal document preparers from using the title "paralegal" unless working directly under the supervision of an attorney. Although some members also work for attorneys as contract paralegals, when offering services directly to consumers, they use the title - legal document preparer.

When will we say enough?

At what point do we say – enough? I often talk to legal document preparers throughout Florida and hear all manner of stories about their customers' difficulties accomplishing legal tasks through our court system. We use the term - legal access – and there are many facets and meanings to that term. Besides talking to many legal document preparers around the state, I also regularly talk to Florida pro se litigants.

Legal access can literally mean being able to enter and get around inside a courthouse. Sharon Hoffmeyer, a former member of the Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers, appeared on Jacksonville's Channel 4 News with camera man in tow, to show just how difficult legal access can be for someone with disabilities. For Jacksonville politicians, the entire story of the 350 million dollar Duval County Courthouse is a sore point – the fact that it went so far over budget, the fact that the transition into the new building was chaotic, and add the fact that the best laid plans of disability access consultants were ignored.

Ms. Hoffmeyer and I discussed the lack of ADA compliance in the Jacksonville courthouse, and her difficulty in accessing the legal system in general. We also spoke about the fact that the difficulty in accessing the legal system is a much larger problem, than access for the disabled. Ms. Hoffmeyer is in the process of pursuing a simple legal matter as a pro se litigant; and she is an experienced paralegal having worked for attorneys for much of her working life. She was trying to set a hearing on a motion that she had filed. At every turn, however, the clerks of court told her that she needed an attorney to set a motion hearing. Ridiculous. It was her motion, she had written if for herself, filed it herself, but continually hit barriers when simply trying to set a hearing on that motion.

As a legal document preparer, I find I often must inoculate my customers against the unhelpful attitudes of the clerks of court. Not all the clerks. Some of them are absolutely wonderfully helpful. And they are most appreciated. Recently one of my customers was struggling to navigate the self-help computers at the clerk's office in Sarasota. All she wanted was a copy of a court order. After about 45 minutes one of the clerks came out from behind the counter, helped my customer, and in 30 seconds or less the order was printing. My grateful customer then left the courthouse, went to Publix, bought flowers, and took them to the clerk. Help is appreciated.

On the other hand, most of the stories go the other way. We know that the clerks are told they are not allowed to answer legal questions. And fair enough. We (legal document preparers) don't answer legal questions either. But, as expensive as filing fees are, you would think that consumers could get simple answers to simple questions. Countless times pro se litigants are frustrated by the entire process. Many give up. Some educate themselves online or go to the law library for information. Certain circuits have an on site attorney service, charged at a dollar a minute. Some courthouses have Pro Se Help Desks where pro se litigants can ask questions about documents and procedure. The Pro Se Help Desks are sometimes helpful and sometimes not.

In Miami-Dade family law pro se litigants are required to attend an appointment with a clerk at the Pro Se Help Desk before filing their documents. The appointment is supposedly to make sure that all of the documents are in order. The fact, however, is that the purpose of the meeting is for the clerk to make sure that the pro se litigant is using the Miami-Dade local family law forms. Many circuits have local forms. But only Miami-Dade not only requires pro se litigants to use their local family law forms, but also requires that pro se litigants purchase those forms from the Miami-Dade courthouse. Many circuits sell form packets, that include local and forms used statewide – Supreme Court approved forms. The Supreme Court approved forms in the packets are available as free downloads on the Florida Supreme Court's website, www.flcourts.org. Most of the form packets, in most of the circuits cost around $20. But only Miami-Dade charges around $70. for their form packets – and requires that pro se litigants purchase their forms from them. Forms for divorce, child custody, modifications, step-parent adoption, paternity, disestablishment of paternity, and on and on. All forms, available for free on the Florida Supreme Court's website – cost Miami-Dade litigants. I believe it is unfair, and Miami-Dade residents don't know they are being taken advantage of. They are being singled out to pay more for family law forms than any other pro se litigants in the state.

Barriers come in many forms.

Third Annual FALDP Conference - 9/22 & 9/23

The Florida Association of Legal Document Preparers – FALDP – is proud to announce our Third Annual Conference. This year we are hosting our conference in historic St. Augustine, at the Hilton on the Bayfront, located at 32 Avenida Menendez, Saint Augustine, Florida, 32084, on September 22 & 23. As always, it is a members only event. But, don't worry, there is still time to join.

Our mission is a journey. We have only begun, there is much to do. We trust that as we grow and educate our members; our members will, in turn, educate consumers. We hope that the confidence gained through education will in turn empower those consumers.  We have faith that one day, consumers will have a fighting chance to  pursue their legal rights, with or without an attorney, with the proper education and tools to know when or if legal advice is required, and to make their own informed legal decisions whenever reasonable.

Conference fees are only $105. for both days for Premium Members. Accommodations are paid separately. Some local hotels and Bed & Breakfasts are offering discounted rates to attendees. Please check our website for conference and accommodation discount details.

Annual Premium Membership dues are only $65. Membership guidelines and a free Member Handbook are available on - our membership page.

Conference Details & Registration:

Saturday, September 22; 9-5 – Day one - The FALDP Forum, focuses on education, with three dynamic guest speakers and lively guided discussion throughout the day:

James Middleton of Estate Planning Group, LLC will speak to the members about the importance of Living Trusts and Estate Planning – for everyone – not just for the wealthy. Since 1984 James has focused his energy on helping people plan ahead, so that they can achieve peace of mind, here and now. He returns on Day Two to discuss with members how to become involved in helping others through the FALDP Living Trust Estate Planning System. James relies on HotDocs Sofrware and information published by Schumacher Publishing, Inc. For more information about Living Trusts, visit -

David Bass, another of our guest speakers, is a Florida real estate expert, broker, and investor who relies on legal document preparers to complete the form sets he has compiled. As a private lender in this dismal economy, David found that paying attorney fees to foreclose his private mortgages was nowhere near cost effective. So, David developed a system for private lenders to foreclose their own loans which he has used successfully over and over again. Learn more about David's Pro Se Foreclosure system online

Joey Morales will speak to our group about credit repair. He works for Credit Justice Services - which offers a program focused on protecting the rights of consumers through careful adherence to all credit reporting laws and regulations. Since 2008, Joey and his team, have helped many individuals and families to achieve their credit related goals. Joey regularly assists mortgage brokers by transforming credit denials into credit approvals. And works with real estate agents by referring qualified buyers.

On Sunday, September 23; 10-2 – Day Two – The Business Development Seminar, our three guest speakers return to invite FALDP members to partner with them by adding new income streams to their business menu. Along with these three business add on opportunities attendees will also be invited to learn about increasing their income by networking with other members for services. Member presenters will discuss how members can increase their business efficiency and income by adding on or using services such as: becoming a process server; using our member's computer merge service for faster document preparation and assembly; and tapping into another member's marketing expertise to get the word out through cyber space about your services.

Both days will be interspersed with guided discussion, brain storming sessions, and prize giveaways.

The Friday evening before, (9/21) a pre-conference get together is set for happy hour, 5-7, at the one and only “SPY Global Cuisine and Lounge” located at 21 Hypolita Street, St. Augustine, Florida 32084. FALDP Director, Ruth Tick, will be there waiting to meet you. (She said she'd be sure to wear a flower in her hair – so you can find her).

Florida legal document preparers, don't be left out. If you have not yet joined the only Florida trade association created just for you, there is no better time. Come and enjoy our Third Annual Conference, and explore historic St. Augustine.

SEE YOU THERE!