How do you measure your life?

“Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count, and everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.” 

Albert Einstein.

I've been reading the happiness studies. The AARP has one, and so does Harvard. AARP's study says that middle age is the least happy time in your life – happiness is a U-shaped curve which bottoms out during middle age. I suppose the upside is that there is an upside and happiness increases as we age. Good to know. The Harvard study contends that happiness and money are correlated, and that we need around a $75,000. annual income to be happy. I can understand that there is some sort of financial benchmark that can help measure happiness. I believe, however, that it is not so cut and dried. After all, one person is flush with a 75k income, and another is broke. All relative.


Carl Jung said that the more we pursue happiness, the less likely we are to find it. I don't agree with that statement. I think that if you don't pursue a goal, you're unlikely to reach it. So, in my opinion, we're best off, actively pursuing happiness. I agree, though, with Jung's short list of happiness factors:

1. Good physical and mental health.
2. Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life.

All of these ring true to me, except for being a bit too general. If our physical and mental health decline as we age, how is it that we are generally happier as we age? The only mention of economic factors relating to happiness is - “Reasonable standards of living”. I think that statement is more true than trying to pin down an actual amount. Income and standard of living are both relative to a community; and subjective as to whether the income and comparison are personally satisfying.

Here are some of my happiness factors:

Freedom from want – picture the Norman Rockwell painting inspired by FDR's speech.
The privilege of being self-directed – I am my own favorite boss.
The opportunity to make a positive contribution to someone's life – the rewards surprise me.
Spending quality time with friends and family – thank you.
Sharing my gratitude – thanks again.

Having outlets for self-expression and creativity – I write, create websites, and in business - make something from nothing -thoughts are things.

Dr. Clayton Christensen, a professor at Harvard Business School recently co-wrote, “How Will You Measure Your Life?”, a book which applies business management theory to our personal lives. The take away value appears to be (and no I haven't read it yet … I'll follow up if anything changes) – first of all, don't measure your happiness by your paycheck. That's what I'm saying too. That's a fool's game – he who dies with the most toys wins – but you're dead so who cares if you have the most toys! To a point, I'm a throwback to the sixties when it was commonplace and perfectly acceptable to measure your life by your intrinsic factors – your inner goals, and spiritual motivations.

According to “Why Seeking More Money Hurts Happiness” an excerpt from the U.S. News Ebook - “How to Live to 100” - “People pursue life goals that reflect different mixes of what social scientists call intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. "The intrinsic factors are about personal growth and self-knowledge, connections and social intimacy with other people, and wanting to help the human community for altruistic reasons," says Kennon Sheldon, professor of psychology at the University of Missouri. Extrinsic goals, he says, are about 'money, luxury, appearance, attractiveness, status, popularity, looks, and power.'"

From all of these theories, I have gleaned some important ideas. One is that relationships matter. We're not happy isolating ourselves from others, or letting our key relationships go untended. We also need a plan to achieve happiness. We know that we need a certain standard of living to be happy. How are we going to get there. And what about satisfactory work?

I'm lucky in the work that I do. It is a calling. I find the creative aspects of building and running my business endlessly intriguing. The personal reward in helping others is extraordinary. I would never have believed this in myself. I'm not a world saver. I am ever grateful that I fell into this business due to a horrible marriage that literally nearly killed me (not my son's dad). When I returned to school after that fiasco, my intention was to attend law school after completing a B.A in Legal Studies. Family circumstances prohibited me from moving; and there is no law school in Daytona. I am now ever grateful that I did not attend law school. I was lucky to fall into this occupation. How do you measure your happiness? Comments welcome.